SUPER COMIC BOOB GIRL

Sometimes I wish I was SUPER COMIC BOOK GIRL If I did not like the way the day was going.. I could simply tear out that page. Or how about being in a grocery store line that says 8 items or less and the jerk in front of you has 20. You could zap 19 of his items with your super powers. If I were a comic book girl, I'd be super sonic. I'd have xray vision, flying ability, vaporizing power, magic dust and of course bigger boobs. Yup I think that about covers it. If you were a comic book character who would you be and what powers would you have? How would you use them?

OH NO YOU DIDN'T

It happened, the day you hear about, the day you dread, the day that makes your heart sink a little. As I dropped my daughter off at school today, she rushed out of the car (her backpack almost as big as her) to catch up with friends. She was in such a hurry. I barely got the words good-bye out. So I did what any great mom would do. I rolled down the window, leaned out and shouted (at the top of my lungs) "Bye honey, have a good day I love you." She stopped dead in her tracks turned around, glared stared and then gave me the no you "did'ent" look. I looked back at her shrugged my shoulders and mouthed the word "sorry?"
Down by her side I saw her little hand do a : 1 finger, 4 fingers, 3 fingers, 2 fingers.
My heart filled up as well as a few tears. That's our code for I love you too....

Confucius say

I met this great guy the very first part of June. We both love any type of Asian fare so.. on one of our first few dates we went to a Vietnamese restaurant. Awesome place, company, and all around good time. We (he) gets the check and of course the fortune cookies. He holds them up to his head and decides which one is mine. We open them up, Mine says: " The smart thing to do is to prepare for the unexpected" I read it out loud. He says, "bullshit, I got the same one". I asked the owner." hey are all these the same?" He said he has never seen two people get the same fortune cookie and I have been here 10 years. Fast forward, Two weeks ago, same great guy, different dining establishment, mmm PF Changs. Dinner, drinks, fortunes... GTFO! Same fortunes, "You will be thankful for the pleasures of the coming months"
First, not that I believe in fortune cookies, but has anyone ever had this happen? What do you think it means?

NOW WE HAVE TO MOVE!

PLUTO is no longer a planet. Our fate was decided by 424 ass-tronomers (spelling?) in Prague. What happened to the other 10,000 Ass-tronomers around the globe that were allowed to vote? Gabrielle and I have lived here for years. It is a safe environment with no crime. A great place to raise a child.
I found our environment to be quite huge. Dwarf? What's wrong with dwarfs anyway? Discrimination is what is going on here. All of a sudden you get demoted because you are a dwarf? Snow White had 7 of them and she didn't turn out so bad, that little slut.
Well, looks like we'll have to illegally cross the border into URANUS.
Perhaps that where the Ass-tronomers heads were when they made this decision.

SOME MAY FIND THIS OFFENSIVE

Everyone at the pool party was aghast that I brought my date. Just look at the faces of those jealous souls. They did not appreciate my PDA. I really don't care what people think of us anymore. We love each other and I'm not going to hide it. We are outing ourselves. No more hiding, we are going to live our lives like any normal couple.

Yet another invasion

On one of the cooler summer days, during my lunch, a relaxing drive( I thought) through the park, venti chai latte was in hand. I glanced to my right and saw the green creature on my window, Stay calm, is it on the inside or outside of the car window? I drove faster hoping it would blow off. No! it was still there. GRASSHOPPER ON CAR. I took a hard right turn at 65 miles an hour out of the park, All I could think of was get this mother fucking grasshopper off my mother fucking car.

THINGS YOU JUST DON'T KNOW

Our counrty is in the midst of a hanger shortage. I was horrified when I learned this today as I picked up my dry cleaning. The sign was posted in three places. Thank God they had enough hangers left for my 42 garments. Not that I'm concerned just about my clothes or anything, this is after all a SERIOUS problem. Just think of the ramifications if all the hangers in our counrty became extinct. Right now I'm thinking they are on an endangered list. I'm also thinking of putting bundles of 10 on Ebay and possibly selling the ones I have. Of course the money raised would be donated to my new charity. The SAVE A HANGER FOUNDATION. In addition to ebay you may adopt a hanger for just a penny a day. I feel so much better now that I have contributed to such a worthy cause. Won't you reach down in the depths of your hearts and souls and support the cause with me. A hanger is a terrible thing to waste.